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2008-05-28T01:22:00.000-07:00

Multiple partners vs. one partner

Aay that most women and men lie about their previous experiences, underestimating (for women) or overestimating (for men) the number of partners. Making the secret of your past can be quite understandable as people tend to make certain conclusions based on behavior. But why men tend to boast about the multiple partners they had and women try to hide the real number of partners?

Indeed, does number of partners tell about your skillfulness in bed? Most probably not. Most experts agree that most satisfying is among long-term partners. There are several reasons for that:

Frequency
Couples that live together, have higher frequency of, that benefits both partners, keep them fit and more confident. However, there is always a possibility that regular may turn into monotonous when excitement fades with the time. But if both partners are willing to do some changes in their repertoire, their experience becomes really precious.
For those who do not have stable relationships, life usually undergoes ups and downs with times when passion is on the rise followed by uncertainty and overall lack of.

satisfaction
Long-term relationships that are based on trust and open communication contribute to better understanding bed. Partners can discuss their likes and dislikes, improve their life and with the time get almost in tune with each other. That helps women and men derive maximum pleasure from their experience.
Partners who do not know each other quite well may often feel awkward when it comes to one's preferences in bed. On the one hand lack of knowledge brings more exploration in area, on the other hand, both partners do not feel intimate enough to openly say what was right or wrong.

health
There is no need to say that partners who committed to each other and got to know each other's history are more confident when it comes to their health. Again, open communication is the key and knowing that your health will also affect your partner's health makes you more responsible. Partners in long-term relationships often have better understanding on the methods of contraception and decide what is best for them.
Having multiple partners, makes you feel less secure in these issues, especially if you just started having together.

experiments
Someone may say that more partners equals to more variety in life. This is not true, if we talk about stable relationships where partners are used to share their feelings and ideas together. On the contrary, long-term partners feel comfortable to discuss their fantasies and are open to experimentation, which brings them even closer to each other. You can always explore the whole variety of experience with one partner – it is just takes more efforts than changing partners frequently. And you are more willing to try new things with a partner who won't say that there is something wrong with you.gs.

What if his libido disappeared?

2008-05-27T23:53:00.001-07:00

What if his libido disappeared?

Low drive is rarely associated with men, however more women are reporting about their husband's lack of interest in. Why does your man refuse to have and what can be done in this situation?

Usually, problems in men are usually related to their partner's lower drive when he wants more than he gets. If the situation becomes quite the opposite and a woman is the one to beg for, this seems like a warning sign. In fact, loss of libido in men is very common.

One of the reasons for that may lie in the changes that occurred over the next years. Today a man is feeling the same increased pressure as women, who are not only aimed at career building but also need to be good dads and husbands. Isn't this surprising that the increased burden often leads to fluctuations?

Another reason is the common misconception that men always want and are ready to have and only women are inclined to mood swings that affect their lives. But men just like women also feel stressed and tired after work and their emotions also count when it comes.

Many women, who face this problem, tend to seek for the reason in themselves, thinking that they are no longer attractive for their partner or he has got an affair. In this case, it is better to clarify the situation. Communication is good only if you do not try to avoid blaming him. Probably you will need to start asking him about what might bother him. It is important to say that it is important for you to know why these changes occurred and tell him honestly about your feelings.

He may as well be worried about these changes, which can make the situation more difficult as he will try to avoid because of performance anxiety.

First of all make sure, that problem is not related to physical condition such as erectile dysfunction. It is known that almost half of all men will face this problem at least once in their life. It might be difficult for him to accept this fact as he might consider it a sign of weakness. Be supportive and do not exaggerate the problem. Also it is not recommended to fix the situation by focusing on.

Lost libido may well be just a passing stage and as stresses become weaker, you might enjoy the happy times again. Keep in mind that problems occur in every family at one time or another, but marriages survive if both partners are willing to solve them and talk to each other.

Using fingers to please her

2008-05-27T23:53:00.000-07:00

Using fingers to please her

Stimulating your woman's private parts can become the most intimate and amazing experience for both of you. However, using your fingers to please women can be quite a difficult task, especially if you do not have enough practice.

Treat her gently
Probably the most common mistake men do when stimulating women's with their fingers is when they imitate their stimulation. When it comes to her, any harsh stimulation can spoil her pleasure. First of all, explore her genitals, finding her, her labia and the opening. Do not start right with stimulation, give her some time to build up the arousal. Besides, rubbing her in the wrong place can be quite annoying and ineffective.

Run the tips of your fingers over her inner thighs, play with her pubic hair, gently touch her labia to make her anticipate pleasure. Tease her until she will hint you by spreading her legs wider or pushing her thighs forward.

Avoid monotony
There is no need to focus all your attention on her. At some point she may want your fingers inside her and then again on her- be receptive to small clues she gives you. If your technique becomes predictable, it may sooner no longer bring her that pleasure she once experienced. Also sticking your fingers inside her right from the start is not a good idea. If she is not fully aroused, your fingers may become useless. It is better to use your fingers playfully, touching her outside and inside and keep up with her needs.

Keep to a steady rhythm
Very often, when woman becomes more and more aroused she wants her partner to keep to the same rhythm and intensity, while man may want to increase the speed. Of course it's better to ask your partner what she really prefers, and continue your pace unless she asks you to make it harder or faster.

Explore her
Stimulation can bring her very intense sensations and she will definitely appreciate if you will use your fingers to stimulate her hidden spot. Shape your fingers in "come hither" motion and insert them inside her. You may feel a rough area that is different from other surface and your woman can give you some clues if you found the right spot. Start slowly, gently sliding with your fingers inside. Then you may apply some pressure as is usually responsive to such stimulation. The more aroused she will become, the more intensity she may need.

Enhance her pleasure
There are many ways to make her feel multiple sensations and bring her to the most powerful orgasm. First of all, you may try to finger her while giving her oral. This may need some practice , but the results can be amazing. If you have already explored the backdoor area and she enjoys it, you may experiment with double with your fingers, inserting one or two fingers inside her and other finger in her anus.

She may also ant to go beyond the boundaries and take the whole hand. This should be performed with caution and only if she really wants it. Use additional lubrication and shape your fingers to make your hand slim to insert the tips of your fingers. You can make slight in-out motion or slowly rotate your hand.

How to become attractive

2008-04-30T04:54:00.000-07:00

Think
appeal comes from our minds even more than our body. If you dress in the lingerie, but are ashamed of showing your body and are constantly worrying about your partner's reaction - you won't be enjoying the pleasures of. If you are used to think that having is bad or practicing some forms of is embarrassing then your message to your body would be the same.
Start with positive thinking about your body and as a great part of your relationships that brings you pleasure and makes you closer with your partner.

Learn your body
Do not expect your partner to know everything about pleasing you. Your body is individual and so are your reactions. Have enough time to explore your genitals; labia and. It is known that women, who masturbate, have better chances to experience orgasm. Spend some time alone to know what gives you the most pleasure and how would you want your partner to stimulate you.
Many women require a lot of time before they achieve orgasm, and no one will know it for sure until you find a way to experience orgasm.

Get familiar with your body expressions
Many women think of a perfect encounter as the one shown in a movie, where everything looks very romantic and there are no awkward situations. In reality, may not look so perfect having many ups and downs when you both learn how to please each other. Many women are afraid to lose control during orgasm as they fear they can act somewhat inappropriate, like peeing or making strange sounds. But in order to get the most pleasure from, you need to feel free to express your satisfaction. Your partner will only appreciate your moans and groans as this will make him proud of giving you the utmost pleasure.

Enjoy
How do you feel after: sad, empty, lonely or confused? If makes you feel bad – it's time to make some radical changes. If you will take some time to think over this problem you may find that the reasons for having with some person may be far from having pleasure. You might simply be motivated by a desire to feel loved by someone or you want to keep that person, but that won't improve your relationships. If you really want to enjoy intimacy the best way is to motivate yourself by a desire to become closer to that person or to make up, or to celebrate an important date. You will feel that quality of is more significant in your relationships and thus will feel and look more satisfied and appealing.

Compliment him
Make your partner feel as good as you do telling him what you really liked and how you want him to give you those wonderful sensations over and over again. Do not hold your emotions and share your excitement with your partner. Thus you will not only create special intimacy with your partner sharing the most secret moments and sensations but also become more attractive for him.

Your Real Feelings

2008-04-30T02:15:00.000-07:00

We all know that faking orgasm is like lying to your partner, and what are the consequences of such a lie?

Many women would secretly confess that they faked an orgasm at least once in their lives. In most cases they would say that they did it to boost their partner's self-esteem. One hand they feel, claiming to reach the peak of pleasure, on the other hand they try to ensure their partner's efforts were not useless. And while some acting can be good enough to keep your romance look good at the surface, the lies and other problems may sooner or later appear as a result of faking orgasm.

The most common problem that one can face when faking orgasm is making your life more and more dissatisfied. First of all your partner won't learn what feels good to you and how he can improve the situation. Instead, he will be pleasing you in the wrong way, being convinced of his excellent performance. Without knowing your real feelings, he won't be able to make you feel better.

Doesn't mean that you should simply lie there and show him absolute indifference? The best way in this situation is to explain your partner what you really want. You may not say it with words by rather with your actions, guiding him with your hands and gestures. Try to be responsive and always encourage him when you really appreciate what he is doing.

Also you should not expect to experience orgasm every time you have. Sometimes you may simply have pleasure without acting the earth-shattering orgasm. You may tell your partner about the pleasure you had with him and he won't be bothered about dissatisfaction.

Learn to enjoy the happy moments with your partner and do not focus on orgasm. If it happens - it's just fine, if it doesn't and you likes it's fine too.

You are in charge for your pleasure and your partner helps you to have the unforgettable experience and if something goes wrong give him some clues, try something different to make it happen. Changes are good for any relationships and as you both will be open to new sensations, your experience will be always fresh irrespective of the fact of having orgasm or not.

In The Water

2008-04-30T02:01:00.000-07:00

In the water

In the water in the water is often a way to beat the bedroom boredom and add some spice into life. However, not all the water adventures end up in bliss for couples. in the bath can be tricky enough and you should be prepared to face certain discomfort.

Stay wet
First of all, in spite of the fact that you won't have lack of moisture in the bathroom, your body will be dry in the most intimate zones. In fact, water washes away all the natural lubrication, making less comfortable. The gentle tissue of the can become irritated and together with other chemicals like bubble bath, soap and oils it may cause some irritation and make you more susceptible to thrush.

So if you want to stay lubricated during water fun, it is better to use some lubricant that is not water-soluble like silicone lubricant.

Make it a safe place
Bath tube can be not suitable for fun as the surface is quite slippery to perform water just like the movies show it.

Make sure you have some support to have with your partner. Standing position is quite common in the bathroom though may require some maneuverability. Having in and style positions can also be not quite smooth.

You may consider having oral as in this case, you will be more in control of the situation.

Make it more sensually-oriented
If having in the bath has proved to be uncomfortable, you can reserve your bathroom for foreplay. You can gently rub your lover's back and chest with soap foam, give sensual strokes and enjoy the aroma oils to create mood.

It is also good to start any play in the bathroom since you will be sure that both of you are fresh and clean to fulfill your naughtiest fantasies later in the bedroom.

Think about contraception
Many people think that they cannot get pregnant in the water. This is a myth. Do not believe that hot temperature of the water will kill sperm or prevent sperm from fertilizing the egg. Also in the water does not prevent STDs. Condom is an effective method of contraception, but using it in the water can be quite problematic as it can slip off.

If you are not sure about safer in the water, it is better to move on to the bedroom where you can be more confident in using a reliable contraceptive method.

Public Places

2008-04-30T01:52:00.000-07:00

public places

Having in public places is a very common fantasy of men and women. The most adventurous couples are ready to engage in a thrilling fling in a restaurant bathroom, a backseat of the car, on the desk in the office and other places where becomes a forbidden fruit.

Why seems so much exciting in public places? Most of your friends who have done it in public places would probably say that routine in relationships urged them to seek for out-of-the-bedroom scenery. Others would say that the only thought of getting caught adds a lot of fresh sensations they lacked. If you are one of those people who find it extremely arousing to have in public places, then you might need some recommendations.

Choose the right place
Common places where men and women have are: parks, public bathrooms, plane bathroom, movie theaters, cars, woods and fields, elevators, office, department store restroom, swimming pool, balcony, roof, telephone booth and others.

Before you decide to have in public weigh all the risks and keep in mind that in most states in public is prohibited and you might get into serious trouble. If you consider yourself brave enough, choose the place that has the lowest risks. For example, if you get caught having in the office, it might affect your career, so you should decide for yourself if it is worth trying.

Plan your time
Of course, best is unexpected, but isn't it better to be prepared for all the possible surprises beforehand? Most probably, in public places will be quick and less comfortable then in your cozy bedroom. Keep that in mind and make sure both of you will get aroused before you get in the public place. This might be in a form of mental stimulation, when you whisper those naughty words in your partner's ears or some unequivocal hints like caressing your partner's knees. Thus when you get in that "forbidden" place, you will have the most passionate quickie.

Consider a right position
Think about position that will be more or less comfortable for both of you. Think about some details like the size of the place you are going to play around. Is there any support for your partner and whether you can rearrange something (for example in a car) to make it more enjoyable. Standing and doggy style positions are the most popular among those risky couple, while missionary position is most suitable in places where you have plenty of room.

Think about the form of play
Having in public places doesn't always mean you should have an intercourse. Very often, oral, a steamy petting and mutual masturbation may be good enough to bring you to the highest peak of pleasure as the most excitement lies in fact that you are undertaking something risky. You might start your adventure somewhere in public but indulge in intercourse at home, thus you will add excitement in your relationships and feel safer.

Men's Greatest Fears

2008-04-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

He may look confident and invincible, still having feeling quite nervous in bed, which can make your life less pleasant. What are the most common things men are afraid of in bed?

Performance anxiety
The fear of not being able to perform well in bed can make him avoid intimacy and bring some tension in your relationships. This is especially true, if he had an embarrassing situation in the past. Once being a subject of mocking he may no longer want to initiate with someone else.

If you think that your partner might suffer from performance anxiety, the most important thing is to be careful and not to push things. Show him that you value him as a person and try to create a relaxing atmosphere having fun and playing some roles. Be the one to initiate and lead the game.

Fear of being compared to another man
There is no need to say that your man wants to be the only one and any comparison to someone else makes him feel insecure. If you mention about your ex and your previous adventures, he may involuntarily make comparisons with another man not in his favor. If you tell how bad your previous partners were, this can make him think that you might discuss his performance in the same manner with others.

The best thing is to tell your partner what things you enjoy in bed with him, never comparing him to someone else.

Fear of being unattractive
You may think that looks are not so important for a man, but in fact he may spend hours in a gym only to match the ideal of a muscled young man. He may either prefer to have with the lights off or in such positions where you won't be able to have a full view of his body.

Of course, one of the most effective ways to overcome this fear is to tell your partner about his merits. There is no need to lie that he has a gorgeous athletic body if it not true, but he may have a lot more attractive features to focus on. Tell him how safe you feel in his arms and how attractive is his butt and he will no longer be worried about small imperfections.

Fear of premature ejaculation
He may often ask you if you had an orgasm or you felt good enough, being afraid that lasted too short. This is connected to a fear that a woman may not get enough satisfaction with him and think about fulfilling her desires with someone else. In fact, almost every man faced the problem of premature ejaculation at least once in a lifetime.

If you want him to feel less anxious about quick intercourse, ask him for a longer foreplay so that he will feel himself more confident and you will have enough time to get fully aroused.

Fear of small
It is useless to say that size doesn’t matter as most men are convinced that only a big can do the work properly. He is used to compare his manhood to other men's from the early adolescence and is sure that this is a key to success in relationships. And while you may not think about the size, this fear can turn into obsession if you won't change the situation for better.

When words are ineffective, the best tool is to make him feel proud of his manhood. Choose positions for deeper and tighter( doggy style, for example) so that you both will feel closer intimate contact.

Most Common Myths about Infidelity

2008-02-20T18:41:00.000-08:00

Happy couples do not cheat
Most people believe that if a man cheats on his wife he is living in an unhappy marriage. This often implies that a woman is mostly responsible for her husband's unhappiness, being the reason why her man cheats. However, many psychologists say that many partners who have wonderful life and love each other nevertheless do not refuse to have an extramarital affair. Interesting enough, more than a 50 percent of men often claim about living in a happy marriage.

If you have an extramarital affair that means that you don't love your partner
Another common misconception about infidelity is that you might think that the only fact that your partner loves you will save your marriage from extramarital affair. In fact, It's more about your partner's value system and his or her character. If your partner is used to lie in other areas of life, you cannot be sure that he won't hide something from you in intimate relationships.

Some people, in spite of living in an unhappy marriage still cannot break the vows either because they cannot live double lives or they won't be able to lie.

Affairs give you what you cannot have in a marriage
It's a common misconception to think that you can find happiness outside the marriage because your partner cannot give you everything. As a matter of fact, it all depends on yourself and your desire to change yourself and improve your relationships, rather than seeking for someone to fulfill your needs.

Many men and women start feeling more appreciated by new partner in comparison to their long-term partner who knows you for who you are. And while an affair with someone else makes you feel more intelligent, attractive and virtuous in the eyes of a new person, you may mistakenly think that your husband or wife is ignorant of all your virtues.

Your partner pushes you to cheat
Actually, you cannot blame your partner for your affairs. It is often a woman who is blamed for her husband's infidelity. Cheating partners try to justify their actions by saying that they were unhappy in a marriage. However, in many cases it's an inability to deal with dissatisfaction and problems within a relationship that makes a cheating partner escape in another relationships.

As long as both partners try to work things out and solve their problems until it's too late, the more chances are for them to seek for consolation outside their marriage.

Extramarital affair means an end to the relationships
Finding out about your partner's infidelity is undeniably a traumatic experience and you will need a great work to rebuild trust in your relationships. However, men and women tend to look differently at cheating. Very often, women say that they can forget a one-night stand if there was no emotional involvement with another woman, while men feel more hurt if their wives had with another man. And they are more likely to deal with wife's emotional attachment to another man if she had no relationships with him.

Infidelity means that you had intercourse with another partner
Nowadays, with the variety of practices and technical progress it is even more difficult to define what can be considered an affair. Is oral with another partner is a sign of infidelity or not? Many men and women get even more hurt when they find that heir partner had oral with someone else, because they consider it as more intimate act.

Also, you may have an affair in the internet and be emotionally involved in these relationships. Of course for one person is a key element, and for affection for another person can become a long-term hurtful experience. The basic things that define infidelity are secrecy about another relationships, desire to share intimate moments with someone else and attraction.

How to Overcome Shyness in Bed

2008-02-20T18:31:00.000-08:00

For many men and women the joys of pleasure are overshadowed by fear and anxiety about their performance. There are a lot of different reasons that do not make us feel at ease when we are with our partner. Usually it is a more complex problem, connected with self-image, previous experience or some discomfort you feel with your partner.

Shyness and Body Image
Do you consider making love in the dark only? Many men and especially women feel embarrassed to get naked in front of their partner. Negative body image is what can make your life less enjoyable. You may think that your body is not as beautiful as those seen in magazines and movies and as a result compare yourself with some ideal. This is a serious obstacle to a better life when partners share intimacy and have to be open to each other.

First step to overcome your shyness connected with negative body image is to change the way you think about your body. You should understand that there are women of all sizes and shapes and that your body is very individual. You may develop a healthier life style, exercising for example but what is more important – to come to terms with your own body.

Shyness and Experience
An unpleasant event in the past may also add anxiety to your performance, making you less confident and as a result more passive. Probably your previous partner was too critical of your performance and that was enough for you to become closer with your partner now. Lack of experience is also a reason why you may feel quite awkward with your partner in bed.

Talk to your partner about your fears and share your emotions to make him/her understand what makes you feel uncomfortable. Perhaps, you need to create more intimate relationships and have more trust in your partner. Your partner may help you in overcoming those insecurities if he or she understands what the problem is. If you failed to find common ground and your partner still ignores the problem, you should think twice before sharing a bed with him/her.

Shyness and Your Partner
You may think that your partner is too experienced and fear that he or she might be disappointed by your performance. Or this can be a case when your partner's preferences do not correspond with yours. For example, he may prefer you to be more dominant in bed, while you derive pleasure from being receptive and submissive.

If your fears are connected with lack of experience, the easiest way is to ask your partner how to make him/her feel good and to guide you during lovemaking with words and actions. It is hard to deal with difference in preferences but it is even harder to find two partners who have absolutely the same tastes in bed. Thus it is more important to find a compromise than feel awkward. In any situation, it is better to discuss it with your partner and explain why you like or dislike something in bed. After discussion you may change your views on certain practices or find a compromise.
If it is hard for you to start the topic you may use some help reading a manual or browsing a website together. The ideas you come across will prompt you what to do next.